Sunday, September 10, 2017

The Second Half-Century

 
Anna at Guedelon
photo by Amy Brandon


As I have neared and now passed age 50 over the last couple years, I find myself changing slowly, like a jagged mountain eroding into a smooth stone, more likely now to be prone to naps than to tempests.  As my emotions settle, my mind seems to wake and clear, and my reading interests move in different directions.  Often,  I find myself reading ten or eleven books at a time now. This became possible only when I learned to let go of goal-oriented reading.  Usually, eventually, I will finish what I start, but not always.  Even if I don’t finish, I still find I take something positive away from most books.  I look at reading now more like mining for gold dust than like searching for the Hope Diamond.  Not every book is a diamond, but most contain at least a little pretty dust.

Right now, at this point in my life, I feel like I’m reaching the end of the person I was and am on the cusp of a new and different person.  I hope this new person will be able to write more. I’ve missed writing about what I’ve read.  For a time I came to feel like I either didn’t have anything new to say or wasn’t able to express what I was thinking. Maybe we all have to get quiet and shut down for a while to clear our minds for new thoughts and new ways of being.  Wisdom seems to come at a glacial pace, if it comes at all, no matter how many books I devour, but I will keep on devouring them, looking for those traces of gold dust.

4 comments:

Deb Nance at Readerbuzz said...

I feel the same. I have so much more peace at 60 than I had at 20, or even 40. I hope I write more as I grow older.

https://readerbuzz.blogspot.com/2017/09/life-after-hurricane.html

Bryan said...

There's gold in them there books. For sure. :)

Anne@HeadFullofBooks said...

I often have a hard time DECIDING to blog my book reviews. I want to write insightful/helpful reviews and often I don't feel like I have any thing unique to add to the discussion about the books. I can appreciate where you are with writing.

JoAnn said...

"Even if I don’t finish, I still find I take something positive away from most books. I look at reading now more like mining for gold dust than like searching for the Hope Diamond. Not every book is a diamond, but most contain at least a little pretty dust."

This struck a chord! I've abandoned so many books over the past month or so... a couple after reading hundreds of pages. What a wonderful way to approach it.

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